Leave the gun take the cannoli.... OR

How about leave the guilt, take the help?

This week at our Happiness Project Book Club, there was some discussion about asking for, and accepting, help.  As women, we often find this to be a challenge.  I know I do. When we do accept help, it seems to be accompanied by a nice dose of guilt.  

For almost a year now, I have been battling painful bursitis.  My doctor recommends that I have rest periods between workouts, so that my body  has time to recover.   Have I been heeding that advice? Uh, no!   I continue to teach doubles at least twice a week and sometimes even triples.   I'm completely ignoring my own mantra of 'listen to your body.'  We're short staffed, it's my business after all, and I don't want to impose.....are just some of my excuses.

Lately I've had associates who have been more than willing to teach my Wednesday night time slot in order to help out.  WHY do I even debate it with myself?   Why not leave the guilt, accept the help? 

Another example is an annual get together with girlfriends that I'm hosting tomorrow.  Every one of them has offered to bring something.   "Oh no, I wouldn't want you to go to any trouble, just bring yourself," I hear myself saying.   STOP!  Just accept the help and move on!

In our book club discussion we talked about how by refusing help, we actually deprive the other person of the opportunity to do something positive. 

This is the lesson I'm currently working on. I graciously accept the offers for coverage for my Wednesday night class (even asking  for help on some weeks).  Slowly, I'm creating a schedule that works for me physically.   And I'm happy to report that a friend is making a batch of sangria for tomorrow night, while another is bringing a fruit salad. 

It will be a process to get good at this, but I'm not going to look back.  I'm leaving the guilt behind, accepting help, and maybe even picking up some cannolis for tomorrow night.

What mattered this weekend....

Laughter & smiles from the brunch bunch

I often check in to make sure my time is spent on my priorities. Since I have some free time right now, I'm writing out my lists for the coming week and reflecting on the weekend, determining what still needs to be done and if my time has reflected my priorities.

Here are some of the things that mattered this weekend:

Faith -because of today's crazy schedule I went to mass at a Stamford church.  So nice to try something different for a change of pace.

Marriage - MUST make time for date night every week. Last night we had dinner at one of our all time favorite spots then came home to curl up for a "Modern Family" marathon which we've collected on the DVR.

Friends - had a girl's night with a good friend on Friday and enjoyed homemade pizza, wine and watched Burlesque (love that Christina & Cher!) and today met some very special women for brunch. It was a laughter filled, yet inspirational time.

Fitness - kicked off my morning with yoga (awesome!) and am waiting for this afternoon's Belly Dancing workshop to begin. 

Health spent a couple of hours yesterday trying some new vegetarian recipes to keep us going for the first part of the week.

Business taught an energetic Jazzercise class, hosted a Casting Call and met with some potential new trainees, plus had a great practice session with our current trainee.

So after a bit of Belly Dancing, it will be time to call my grandfather to check in, get some more laundry going,  and enjoy dinner with my husband.   Then I'll probably chill out and watch Celebrity Apprentice to see what Star Jones has up her sleeve this week.  Now, if I ever start to spend more time on reality t.v. then reality, THAT will be a problem.  But it looks to me that time this weekend was well spent on what matters. 

This little bird says it all....

We can't change the weather, so we might as well  just go with it.  I'm working putting my energy into what I can control.  Brings to mind that old serenity prayer, doesn't it?    

But think about it for a moment? What would our lives look like if we stopped putting energy to regrets about the past or worries about the future? 

Today I choose to put my energy into teaching a high energy class, getting lots of paperwork done, working on a marketing project, buying supplies for the studio, learning some new routines, volunteering at the Soup Kitchen, and cooking a healthy dinner.  That's all that I have in  my control today.   


Where will you put your energy?

Remembering my dad today.....

(Above: Dad in Hilton Head circa 1989; Below Dad & me in London circa 1984)





Sometimes it's the simplest lessons that stick with us.  Today I'm thinking about my dad.  I learned so many great lessons from  him.  Eighteen years have passed and I sometimes have trouble remembering what his voice sounds like.  But I do remember many of those lessons, and some of the basic things he stood for no matter what.

Enjoy Life

Do the Right Thing 

Have Integrity

Work Hard

Take Risks

Show People You Love Them

Have Faith

Love you Dad!

 

The urgent question

Life's most urgent question is, what are you doing for others?
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

 

I find when I get down, this is a great question to focus on.  It helps me to get out of my own way and put my 'troubles' into perspective.

 

Today I'm going to the Bridgeport Rescue Mission to see what great things are going on there and to  learn more.  I'm honored to be assisting in their upcoming Hearts of Hope event.  The theme of this event is women who can for women who can't.   

 

I'm so excited to be hosting a group of amazing women who all believe in doing for those who can't.

When we ask ourselves that question, the possibilities are limitless.

 

 

"Associate with people who are likely to improve you." — Seneca

 

It's interesting that I came across this quote this afternoon when returning to my office. Earlier today I had the opportunity to participate in a panel discussion hosted by the Entrepreneurial Woman's Network .

  
I have been involved with this organization for about ten years now and  I value the chance to connect with other successful business women.  I undoubtedly learn something each time I attend one of the events. I walk away thinking, "I'm going to try that" or "I've never thought of it that way."

And for a seemingly random segue, last night (I hate to admit ) I watched the finale of The Bachelor.  This is as sappy and ridiculous as it gets for reality t.v.   The Bachelor upon making his final choice said that Emily  "made him want to be a better man."  Gee, if I had a dime for every time I heard that one!

BUT,  isn't that that really helps us to grow?  

As Seneca so succinctly stated  "Associate with people who are likely to improve you."

Isn't it always helpful to golf or play tennis with a stronger player? Don't you tend to raise your game?  I love taking Jazzercise from the best instructors around.  I know that the next class i teach is bound to be excellent.

Whether it's in your personal life or in your career,  seeking out organizations EWN that can always teach you something and cultivating relationships with people who help you to be your best can make our lives and our experiences so much richer.

Birthday Blessings.....

It seems like time is moving so fast lately.   A little too much work, not enough balance perhaps.  But on Wednesday the Birthday Blessings came in abundance!  Now two days later, when I finally have time to string two thoughts together.....I'm struck by the enormity of how truly blessed I am .

Shared this delicious treat over lunch with a friend

With all that is unfolding in the word today, take a moment to recognize and appreciate the blessings around you (p.s. - it doesn't have to be your birthday!).